On December 5, 1997 my Grandpa Holtgeerts passed away. I actually remember those next couple days, like it was just yesterday. I remember the very last time I saw my Grandpa. My family went to Holland Hospital to say "Good Bye" to him because he was going to have open heart surgery the next day. We spend a couple hours sitting by his bedside, but I don't remember any of that. I just remember watching his face as the elevator door was shutting. He was smiling, like he always was, but he had this look that he was scared but didn't want to show it. He was trying to stay strong, like he was does. Then, we got to our car and I looked up. There Grandpa was, waving to us through the window. That's when the tears started to roll down my face. I was so scared that I wasn't going to see him again. Even with all the renovations they have done at Holland Hospital those set of windows are still there. Every time we are home and we ride pass the hospital, I remember him standing there, waiting for us to get to our cars, and waving.
The next night, Amber and I spent the night at my Grandma and Grandpa Kuipers house because our parents were going to be going with my Grandma and Grandpa Holtgeerts. We got a call right before we went to bed from my parents saying everything went well, so sleep well. Come to find out, it didn't go well, they just wanted us to get a good night sleep. I do remember at that moment when my Grandpa Kuipers came in to tell us that everything was fine, I didn't feel fine. I got a pit in my stomach like something just wasn't right. I prayed so hard that night, probably harder then I ever had before. I just wanted my Grandpa Holtgeerts to be okay and be able to come home again.
The next morning, bright and early, my grandparents took us back over to our house. My dad greeted us at the door and I could tell something wasn't right. Amber ran over to my mom, which then I heard crying. I knew it couldn't be good. I remember then turning to my dad and asked, "He's okay, right" My dad shook his head and I fell into his arms.
It's so hard to think about that day, but know it's good too sometimes, that's why I had to get it out. I miss my Grandpa everyday. One of the hardest things about not being in Holland any more, is not getting the chance to go to his grave site whenever I need to talk to him or on a day like today. Back when we were living in San Antonio, Courtney's only gift to me one Christmas was a blown up picture of his grave stone. The best Christmas gift ever. It's the first thing I see when entering our bedroom.
I know he is watching over me and my family, but oh how I wish that he was here to meet my family. Courtney never got to meet him, but he's heard many stories, so he feels like he knows him. And I really would love if he got the chance to meet his great grand daughter. I know for a fact that he is watching over her. When she's in her room, she constantly looks up at the same spot every time. One time she was just going crazy talking, while looking up. So, I asked, "who are you talking to?" What she said back to me was so crazy because it sounded just like Grandpa. So, I know he's here watching over all of us, which makes me feel so great.
I miss my Grandpa so much. He was a wonderful man, who always had a smile on his face. We grew up going with him to Holland High sporting events and no matter what he was always there to cheer us on in any sporting events. He was there watching my dad in his softball games. Amber or I in tee-ball, soccer or what have you. I was happy that he was able to at least watch me play basketball for the Holland East team. I remember him cheering in the stands. You could always hear him over every one else.
I love you so much and no matter how many years pass by, I will never forget you!! I love you
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